Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My room smells like vodka and shame
I cut my penus on the lid.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize