dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
