from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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