my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
