why didn't you poke me back
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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