you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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