we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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