I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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