where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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