I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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