In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
