I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize