Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
