I think I won the penis lottery.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
