"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
