I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
