Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
