I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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