I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
