What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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