You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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