Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
