i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
