In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
