I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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