Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
