we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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