im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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