Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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