i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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