i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
