dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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