Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
