An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
