There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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