Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
