I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize