So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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