I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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