i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
