just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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