I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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