Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There are leaves in my underwear?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
