ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
