For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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