She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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