I love black thongs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
