8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
