Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
