Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize