This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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