Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
