so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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