i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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