I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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