Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
