k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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