So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
